It funny how image conscious people are on Twitter.
The" biggies" like Gul Panang and Richard Branson post important things like the colour of their coffee and their latest green fetish, and we humble followers lap it up like tasty curry on a banana leaf.
I tried the same and lost half a dozen followers courtesy 3 tweets concerning my illustrious friend.
We're all conscious of losing followers on twitter. The Common man might twirl his moustache and say, "I don't care!"
Sure he does! He pretends not to care so he can stay away from this hassle. ( A nifty trick that stoics, Richard Feynman - "What do you care what others..." and Yours Truly use frequently)
So here's the unwritten protocol to get to the top - to get people to read mundane facts like the colour of your neighbour's street dog without losing fans.
1) start funny: Post links to popular humour like explosm.net and XKCD. Gradually (and seamlessly) move on to typing the jokes out, and mentioning the source. The final step is to tweak the joke and take credit yourself. Splatter this fact all over your post.
2) Substance, abuse it: Your post MUST have substance. Choose a topic/genre you're good at or you like and post copiously - facts, innuendos you perceived or jargon-explained. And yes, abuse that genre till you squeeze out the last drop. A word of caution, if your genre is caecilians in the Western Ghats, don't even try.
3) Stalk, with caution: Following every Tom, Dick and Harry is more likely to invite weird ideas in people, so don't. When you start, follow popular Twitterati, so people aren't spooked out and would consider following you. Maintain a healthy balance of following/followers ( the ratio depends on you, just don't swing to the extremes. You'll either be mistaken for a fan bot or a Chinese company desperate to sell)
4) Play your cards well: You tweets must feature hash tags that trend, reduce @mentions (unless they are absolutely necessary, or if you're a part of the Twitterati - in which case you shouldn't be reading this!)
and keep them short ( <100~120 is what I mean)
Hope for the best. Perhaps you might get lucky when a bored Shashi Tharoor/Amitabh Bachchan/Richard Branson (or all three!) decide to retweet your funda. Perhaps there will be so much bad luck that you shall forever wallow in the shadows of Twitter-dom.
If you do reach the top, do remember to take off this shroud of pretence/protocol and be yourself! We don't mind original Twitter-stars.
If you don't, the Sickipedia bot is always there to remind you of the child in(/waiting for?) you, and laugh your miseries away.
P.S. These opinions are deduced through limited Twitter experience and no facts back these hypotheses. These haven't been tried in practice either, cause I'm not the type.
P.P.S. If you sigh with despair at the sheer stupidity of this post, of how little ascendingTwitterdom will help feed Somalia's kids or improve healthcare in Bengal's hospitals, I can't agree more.
The" biggies" like Gul Panang and Richard Branson post important things like the colour of their coffee and their latest green fetish, and we humble followers lap it up like tasty curry on a banana leaf.
I tried the same and lost half a dozen followers courtesy 3 tweets concerning my illustrious friend.
We're all conscious of losing followers on twitter. The Common man might twirl his moustache and say, "I don't care!"
Sure he does! He pretends not to care so he can stay away from this hassle. ( A nifty trick that stoics, Richard Feynman - "What do you care what others..." and Yours Truly use frequently)
So here's the unwritten protocol to get to the top - to get people to read mundane facts like the colour of your neighbour's street dog without losing fans.
1) start funny: Post links to popular humour like explosm.net and XKCD. Gradually (and seamlessly) move on to typing the jokes out, and mentioning the source. The final step is to tweak the joke and take credit yourself. Splatter this fact all over your post.
2) Substance, abuse it: Your post MUST have substance. Choose a topic/genre you're good at or you like and post copiously - facts, innuendos you perceived or jargon-explained. And yes, abuse that genre till you squeeze out the last drop. A word of caution, if your genre is caecilians in the Western Ghats, don't even try.
3) Stalk, with caution: Following every Tom, Dick and Harry is more likely to invite weird ideas in people, so don't. When you start, follow popular Twitterati, so people aren't spooked out and would consider following you. Maintain a healthy balance of following/followers ( the ratio depends on you, just don't swing to the extremes. You'll either be mistaken for a fan bot or a Chinese company desperate to sell)
4) Play your cards well: You tweets must feature hash tags that trend, reduce @mentions (unless they are absolutely necessary, or if you're a part of the Twitterati - in which case you shouldn't be reading this!)
and keep them short ( <100~120 is what I mean)
Hope for the best. Perhaps you might get lucky when a bored Shashi Tharoor/Amitabh Bachchan/Richard Branson (or all three!) decide to retweet your funda. Perhaps there will be so much bad luck that you shall forever wallow in the shadows of Twitter-dom.
If you do reach the top, do remember to take off this shroud of pretence/protocol and be yourself! We don't mind original Twitter-stars.
If you don't, the Sickipedia bot is always there to remind you of the child in(/waiting for?) you, and laugh your miseries away.
P.S. These opinions are deduced through limited Twitter experience and no facts back these hypotheses. These haven't been tried in practice either, cause I'm not the type.
P.P.S. If you sigh with despair at the sheer stupidity of this post, of how little ascendingTwitterdom will help feed Somalia's kids or improve healthcare in Bengal's hospitals, I can't agree more.
